Hi All,

I'm looking for advise? My name is Chrissy and I have a six year old about to be 7 in a few months.  I feel as though I'm babysitting.  I'm looking for advise on how to bond with my son.  He spends most of the time in his room playing or watching TV and it's because, I'm busy with house work or trying to get my business up and running and after that there isn't enough time.  Anyone have any suggestions on how a frustrated, terrible mom can bond and spend more time with her son, despite all the things that have to get done?  Thanks

Crissy:

Being a parent is a stressful job and the "parent guilt" we all have is overwhelming.  It is hard to juggle family, housework and a new business.  I just recently started staying home part time with my 2 boys and I've had to really manage my schedule.  There is always so much to do around the house - I've tried different things to cut the work down.  For example, after breakfast I put the dishes in the sink and leave them there until after lunch - that way I'm only cleaning the kitchen once during the day.  I play with the boys between breakfast and lunch, we do the things they want to do.  I save my other household work until after they've had lunch.  It's amazing how much fun you can have in those morning hours.  I'm sure your son would be willing to tell you the things he'd like to do with you during the week.  Make a list of those things on Sunday evening and try to do them during the upcoming week. 

You are not a terrible mom - you just need to find a routine that works for both of you, it is easier said than done, but you'll get there.  Good luck with everything, welcome to mommy talk!

Hey Chrissy,

Welcome to mommytalk!! 

 Don't feel guilty about not having time for everything.  It will just wear you down and not let you enjoy the time you do have with your son.

If you want to make your bond stronger, first off, turn off the tv.  Even if you watch it with him, you're not communicating.  If he likes playing in his room, go do that with him.  You'll learn what interests your son and build activities from there.

He also seems to be at the age he could take on some responsibility.  Maybe you could him one or two "chores" to do while you're cleaning the house.  Maybe let him sweep or dust, something simple.  You'll both be cleaning together and you might have more time after that for fun stuff.  Also remember, your house doesn't have to look perfect all the time.  Your time spent with your son is more important than that.  Good luck and know that he loves you.

You are by far NOT a terrible mom!! Asking for help and advice proves that.

With my son, who just turned 6 in September sounds a lot like yours. He is also really into his cartoons, and toys. Before he started going to school, he was home with me. When he was here, I would include him in the housework. Not only did it help me, but he seemed to really enjoy it. He really liked being able to help. I would also watch his shows with him too. And sometimes he would just play wherever I was while I did house work. Maybe once a week you could go to the park, or out to eat at Mcdonalds or something. Something for you and him to look foward too.

I hope this helped you!

Wow Ladies,

THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH, ALL OF YOUR REPLIES MEAN SO MUCH.

Wow Ladies,

THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH, ALL OF YOUR REPLIES MEAN SO MUCH.


 

WOW LADIES, THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REPLIES, THEY MEAN SO MUCH.  My head tells me you're not alone, there are other moms out there feeling the same way but my heart gets in the way of logic.

I will definitely take all of the suggestions and try them all. I am so glad I join this site and thanks for the welcome.  I look forward to more talks with all of you.  Thanks again!!!

Chrissy, Some times we don't realize that our children understand much more than we think, at 6 nearly 7 they can do so much, don't let them get into a routine that doesn't include you.  They love to feel productive, so give them chores, tell them how much it will help you, and once they are done both of you will take a break and do something fun.  My husband would spend hours with our daughter, he taught her how to ride her bike, played tether ball in the back yard, how to swim, took her to the park, they were the best of friends, she thought he walked on water, your son will too, once he really becomes your helper and your friend, along with being your son.

Roxanna (RebeccaLouMoss)