Just curious who usually does the baby shower throwing. I have a son that will be turning one 2morrow. My mom threw that baby shower. I am 5months prego an I told her she could throw that one too.  All the sudden my mother in law decides that she wants to throw it well i told her she can help my mom but this is causing me an my husband to fight.  There are alot of other factor that I dont really want to get into on here. Please help

if they cant get along have seperate showers plenty of people do

Tricky one.  Personally, I feel that the mom of the mom-to-be or someone the mom-to-be chooses - it is your day.  However, in the case of the MIL, things can be sensitive.  Does your husband have a sister?  If not, I would be sensitive to the fact this may be something she has always wanted to do and may not have the opportunity.

Your realtionship with your MIL also plays a factor, for me, I wouldn't like mine throwing my shower (she is a very difficult lady).  However, having a son has made me realize that I may only be walking in her shoes years to come and I try to think about how I would feel in her position.  She may get on my nerves, but her intentions are good and she is a person with feelings.

I know you have suggested that she help your mom, but maybe that makes her feel like hired help instead of a equal hostess.  Instead of her helping your mom, maybe it can be that they both host together and let her take the lead on some decision-making.  You can always have your mom make sure certain things are the way you want it.

At the end of the day, it is not worth fighting over with your husband.  It is a joyous occassion and should be shared by all.

im not sure who usally throws you a baby shower since i didnt have one. i would say let your mother inlaw throw you this one since your mom already threw you your first one , unless there is just alot of stuff you dont agree with your mother inlaw on and you think that will cause problems. i had to deal with this kinda of stuff after my husband and i got engaged but it was my dads wife that wanted to run everything she is the main reason we got married at the wedding chapel of mesa and didnt tell anyone till afterwards and of course she was mad at us afterwards. just remember you have already had one good baby shower thrown by your mom and you will always have the memories of that one , maybe your mother inlaw can throw one just as good or better but you wont know till you let her. 

If they can get together for this one thing and pull it off that would be nice. If not just let your mother in law do it. I have to swallow a lot of things to involve my mother in law. Just remember she means well. I wish you the best of luck.

The last thing you (and your baby!) need is stress. Ask your husband to take control of the situation, make both moms relax and share party duties. It's not about getting credit for throwing the party, it's about having some fun and celebrating a new life on the way. Pregnant women have enough to worry about without getting caught in the middle of pointless squabbles over baby showers. Time for hubby to take charge and shield mommy and baby from this type of stress.

Was your MIL involved with the 1st baby shower?? Is she wanting to be involved because she truly cares, or is it a competition thing?? I would just have them both do it. They can both plan and host a party and both take credit for it.

I hope things work out!!

From Babycenter.com


Who should throw a baby shower?
Anyone except the expectant couple — though Miss Manners might disagree. Formal etiquette says that someone who's not a relative must throw the shower to avoid having it look as though the family is asking for presents. Our advice? Ignore traditional rules. Any relative, close friend, or close co-worker should feel perfectly okay about planning a baby shower.

I don't see why they cannot work together to throw it.  They can share the responsibility of all logistics and the financial aspect of it. If that doesn't work - throw two of them.

Wow - you get two showers.  We only ever get one for the first baby - though I opted out of mine.

thank you all for all your advice ill keep it all in mind

Some great info in here. I just wanted to say that it's such a tricky situation. Trying to involve both is typically the best way to proceed, in my opinion. Hurting the feelings of either of them will just only make the shower a bit uncomfortable. Try to divide tasks if possible.

That's my 2 cents.

seems like multiple baby showers is pretty normal now. i have a friend that had one for all 3 of her babies and have heard of alot of ppl having multiple.

Your mother in law probably feels that since your mother threw the first baby shower, then she should be entitled to throw the second.  I was in a similar situtation with my first shower and for the sake of the sanity of you and your husband, let your mother in law throw the shower and ask your mother to offer to help.  Your mother will most likely understand and she can still be a part of the preperations.