My parents are divorced twice over- N is now at the stage where he is confused with all the Grandparents.  It makes it a struggle that I am closer to my Step mom then my real mom. 

Which kid belongs with each parent it is TOUGH! HELP PLEASE!

we have that too ...lol not twice though.

Nana and married Pap way after mommy was a big girl when I was little Nana was married to Opa.  Nana and Opa are my real parents.

Grammy Has had 2 BF since brad was born we dont call those BF anything but thier first names, Luckily we dont see them often enough for the children to build relationships with them.

Opa has no SO so thats easy

I never called my step my real father or Dad so it may been a bit easier to explain.

Truth is always a good thing. Don't be affraid to tell N the truth.you know that the mom that your closest with is tthe one that you lived with after the bioparents got divorced your dad remarried and you lived with him and his new wife.I might suggest not using words like "dont or didn't love each other anymore"maybe they just couldnt get along... some such. Truth is always the easiest.

"All families are special, and all families are unique.  This is how our family works..."

We'll end up at that stage someday. While I'm not sure of the exact words I will use to explain it, I know it will be matter of fact and not treat it like it is strange or abnormal - this is our family and that is all that matters.  It helps that we are all close and do things together with all grandparents. 

We actually have had to deal with this question also.  My bioparents divorced when I was 3.  However, since we have no contact with my bio father and his family, and my stepdad adopted my brother and I when he and Mom got married, that's not really an issue there.  As far as I'm concerned, my "stepdad" is, has always been and always will be my dad.

Randy's parents just finalized their divorce early this year.  The process started 3 months after Timothy was born, so he has never known them living in the same town, let alone the same house.  But Emma remembers.  We spent a LOT of time their when she was little, and Randy's mom would babysit her quite a bit.  A few months ago, Emma asked when Grammy is coming home from her vacation, since she has been gone for a really long time.  I said that Grammy and Pa have decided not to live together anymore, and now she lives by Emma's cousins and Pa still lives by us.  I told her that they did not know how to work together and talk about their problems like we do.  I said when Emma and Timothy are fighting or have a problem, we talk about it and work together to fix it, just like Mommy and Daddy do, so we don't have to worry about that.  (Randy and I made a commited decision that divorce is simply not an option in our home, and we made that decision before we got married.  I know that divorce has become very common, and I understand how it happens, but it is a choice and we are choosing to work through our issues- and believe me, we do have them!  But it's worth too much to us not to make things work.  That's just our decision.)  I wish you the best in finding the right words for your family.

"I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples.  For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.  Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth." -Psalm 57:9-11. 

 

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