Hi! I need some advice. I am a 21 year old mother of 2. I have a 15 month old and a 4 month old. My husband and I want one more child. I want another baby now so that theya re close together in age. My husband thinks we should wait until the boys are older. We are fininacally able to handle another baby. In also really want a girl. What are anybody's opinions?? Anything is helpful

we are only having 2 thats it no more after that. with both we have hoped for girls and it hasnt happened. we have known way to many ppl that have a ton of kids just trying for one of the opposite sex i personally know one family that had 4 girls before they gave up i also know a family that had 7 kids only one of them was a girl. we also have to look at the housing situation yes we do want a bigger house but having more kids would mean an even bigger house, cars yes our current car can fit 2 car seats but thats it and i dont want a suv or minivan. we are around a family with 3 boys often and they wish they had stopped at 2 some one is always getting in trouble, the 2 oldest will play together but the youngest is usally left out, shopping is an experiance and lots of other things. another reason we are stopping at 2 is i hate being pregnant i dont like not being able to do alot of the stuff i used to and being uncomfortable all the time i just hope that this delivery isnt as horrible as the last one.  

I'm done once this one comes.  I don't want my husband and I to be outnumbered by kids.  Plus I grew up with one other sibling.  It just seemed to work out well for everything from the car, to vacations to seating at restaurants. 

I would say that if you truly want another child, go for it.  If you're just trying to have one that's a girl, I would not do it.  There's no guarantees and what happens if you find yourself in the same position if you have another boy?  Good luck in what ever you do.

I agree with Jan.  If you want another baby, go for it.  I wouldn't do it just because you want a girl. 

What happens if you have another boy? would you try again? would you be just as happy with another boy?  Some questions worth considering.

Personally, I always just wanted a healthy baby.  For my first, second and fourth pregnancies, I didn't even find out the sex of the baby.  It truly didn't matter.  (Baby #3 was supposed to be my last baby, so hubby thought it would be fun to find out ahead of time, I prefer the surprise at the end).

Best wishes, whatever you decide.

If you want another, just because you want another regardless of sex than by all means go for it.  If you want another just for a girl, than just be prepared you might get a boy.  As long as you can handle that than GO FOR IT!!!  I have 3,  1 girl and 2 boys.  3 is wonderful!!!  We had our girl and boy, and I still wanted another, just one more.  Since having our baby I now feel complete, our family is perfect at 5.

I would love to have 3 children but medically i've been advised to not get pregnant again.  We just had our second boy and we would love to have a girl.  If you want to have another, go for it.  There is no garauntee on the sex but all babies are perfect and a blessing.  Good luck and have fun trying!

I grew up with 3 brothers, so I feel like it would be easier for me to raise boys than girls, but I do want to have a girl (I actually already told dh that I want a girl then a boy) But I will settle for whatever I get, they are precious no matter the gender!

I would only try once. If I didnt get what I wanted the I wouldnt try again.

 

I voted for 5+ because that's kind of the situation I'm in.  We have 4 boys right now - I had 2 boys and my husband had 1 from a previous relationship then we had 1 together to make #4. 

I was so happy to have a boy the first time.  The second time, I felt a tad disappointed, but dealt with it.  Then I married my husband who had a son and that was perfectly okay with me... but then we had our first together and I was beyond devastated to have yet another boy.  Of course, I love him to death and wouldn't trade him for the world, but I was so, so sad not to have a daughter.  I wasn't upset that I was having a healthy baby boy, I was devastated to not be having a daughter if that makes sense.  But he's here, he's 2 and we're probably going to try again in the next year.  I'm going to start the "girl" diet and we'll make every low-tech (free) effort to sway for a girl... but if my youngest son has a little brother, that'll be alright (it'll have to be LOL).  I will always wish I'd had a daughter, but I'll just move on to "Plan B" if #5 is a boy - I'd like to wait till the boys grow up a bit and then become a foster parent, possibly doing foster to adopt.  That's the only sure-fire way I know of to get a girl (er, without scientific intervention before conception).

Only you can decide what's best for your family, but I think that every child is an absolute blessing.  I do not believe kids miss out on anything by coming from a large family.  I also don't quite get the need of more space to accommodate more people - I live in a 2200ish sq. foot home with 4 bedrooms and have been taking in a pile of foreign exchange students over the summer - we have had 8 teenagers, two 8 year olds, one toddler and 2 adults sharing ONE bathroom over the past couple weeks and we've lived just fine.  Granted, the exchange kids are in classes during the day, but on weekends when everyone is home, there are no problems - they go outside to play ball or gather in our "rec room" (our enclosed front porch) to play video games and fooseball, etc.  We ate in shifts most nights, but as with every situation in life, somehow we all made it work.  If your family gets too big, you WILL need a bigger vehicle unless you're prepared to take 2 vehicles wherever you need to go, but it's only for a few years before they're all grown & gone

yes and your house is bigger than mine ours is around 1600sqft 4 bed 2 bath and we want a bigger place even with just the one. but our situations are different i also have birds and they have thier own room its the smallest room in the house but they have to have thier own room since they go into attack mode and scream whenever they see simon. we also have a total lack of storage space and would love to have a toy room currently theres a toy area behind the love seat in the living room. we do have an extra bedroom right now since we recently got rid of a roomate but we moved stuff out of our bedroom back into there to free up some space in our room to get a bigger bed. so yes i see it as a requirement to get a bigger house  to bad we will have to wait awhile till it will be possible for us to do that. 

im right there with you zachsmommy87, iam 25, i have two boys my oldest is 6 and the baby is 2. We waited to long for #2, we should have had them closer togeather. i really thought it would be best to have one out of diapers before bringing another home but im begining to wonder if we made the right decision, espically now that i want a 3rd, i really want a girl (of course a boy will be wonderful too) but im more concerned about how far apart they are now. i worry that the two younger ones will leave my oldest out. Then i worry that my 2 yo will get left out cause hes the middle. IDK WHAT DO WE DO??? As for you, them being so young and so close togeather i would think good and hard, itll be like having triplets! But as they say more the merrier!!

I say go for it!! I'm 26 with 4 kids (8,6,2 1/2, & 3 1/2 weeeks,so I will be able to play with my grandchildren, not sit there & watch them play) But we didn't want anymore after the 2 boys but the IUD failed and now we love our daughter to death & even had another after we were done with 2, if u can financially afford it go for it!! because the age between my 2nd son & 1st daughter is 3 yrs. & it felt like a longer time on me & caring for an infant again.

Is there a specific reason you are in such a big hurry?  You are only 21 and you have two children.  You should feel lucky/blessed that you could have them.  Some people can't even have one.  There is no contest and no time limit on when you should have your children.

I do think that you should respect your husband enough to wait if he wants to wait.  There is no hurry and there is no study proving that children are better off if they are close in age to a sibling or not.

I kind of have to agree with Valerie.  Why the big rush?  You are only 21.  You still have time on your side.

 We tried for over 7 years battling infertility and finally got pregnant and then it ended in a miscarriage.  We were lucky and a few months after the m/c found out we were expecting twins!  They are 14 months old now.  We thank God everyday for them and we feel soooo amazingly blessed.  Even though we are so totally grateful for the 2 of them, we do talk about having one more.  I sympathize with you and totally understand about wanting more.  Just make sure you take your husbands feelings and wants into consideration.  It is just as much his decision as it is yours. 

 Personally, I don't worry so much about age differences.  They will all be siblings.  So they automatically have a special bond.  I feel it is all in how you raise them and teach them the value of family.

Good luck and best wishes!!