How do you feel about sex education in schools? Do you feel that sex education should be taught by the parents? What are your feelings on telling kids about sex education and at what age do you suggest telling them?

 

My 6 yr old inquired the other day on how babies come to be........so, I told her a mom and dad come together when they love each other and together form a baby via sex. (she has been hearing "sex" because of older kids at school). And all she said was "oh". My question is should I fill in the blanks even further? Or just leave it?

Wow! she is young!. I learned about sex when I was in high school. I learned through the health education class. My mom and I never talked about it so I was kind of gladd that I at least had learned from school. I think its ok just as long as they are not too graphic. My kids are still yound and they don't ask questions like that yet. I would like to talk to them about sex when I see that its the right time but at this moment I just want them to be kids.

My advice is at this age give  simple short answers and only answer questions they ask.  If she was content with your answer leave it at that.  Be honest and open but don't offer any extra info, just only what they ask.  When they are really ready for the answers they will ask.  Also listen to what she says to others that will help you know what you need to talk to her about.  For example: the other day my 4 year old was calling his sister Sexy so I took him aside and asked him if he knew what it meant, he said no, so I asked him to not use the word.  He was fine with that, but his sister came and asked me what the word meant.  I told her that it is a mans way of calling a woman pretty and that it should only be used by people that understand the word.  She was ok with that.  That  is one rule my husband and I have  if you don't know what the word means you can't use it and if you ask we will answer the best we can.

 

  No, the schools shouldn't be the ones to talk to our children. My husband and I will be the ones to educate our children on this subject.  Its time that parents step up and be parents and take control of our children and stop relying on everyone else to care for them and educate them.  We had them and they are our responsibility.  If parents were held accountable for their children, then parents would hold their children accountable.  ok, I will get off my soapbox now....lol

I agree about parents being the PARENT. My mom had five kids and told us all about the Birds and Bees. I was about 6 when she told me about private parts and why nobody should touch. She told me pretty much the samething as I did my daughter. My daughter asked because my baby sister(26 yrs old) is pregnant and she overheard me telling someone how hard it was for her to finally get pregnant. Since I am aware of what she is hearing on the bus and based on my moms advice- I reacted.

I hope to always tell her honestly. I don't feel I gave her too much info. However, I was very shocked that she asked already. She is happy with her answer as of now. I remember my mother telling me at different times more and more info. Never too graphic but just enough. She told me at 7 about menstrual cycles and that it happens to every girl/lady/woman. At 9 I had started mine on a bus, on a field trip, in Germany- and knew exactly what to do, what to ask for and who (of course) to ask. I hope that I can prepare my daughter for that as well.

 

I think it should be taught by parents first, then in schools for the parents that cant talk to there kids for what ever reason...ya know...

 I moved this to the political thread because I figured it could get heated about that whole bush and the abstinence only thing...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles ...

there are tons of things on google about this topic but that is one that i found pretty interesting

BTW... I talked with Brad about sex already hes 5 I think we are going to do just fine in educating our children about sex. he asked me about where babies come from. for a while he was happy with the god gave the baby to us thing...then he said how did it get in there? so we told him...in very clear 5 yr old terms. the word penis and vagina are 5 yr old terms in this house.... so yeah we told him that mommy's vagina and daddies penis touched and voila Liv was made. and she grew and grew and then came out of mommies vagina. He was like that sounds really gross mom... well it is kinda...I also told him that he woudl feel differently abou tit when he was much older. I told him if he had any more questions to feel free to ask. I'm sure he will have more questions in the future.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/that-chast ...

this was a nice article too... then the comments that follow are awesome too...I particularly like parcheezes comment... second or 3ed on down...

That's my fear. I husband wants to wait until she asks again. I want to inform with subtle information here and there when it is just us two. She is really smart (mommy bias) and I think understands more than kids her age get credit for. I agree that parents first should educate and then the school.

 

Thanks for the comments everyone. Very helpful.

My moto is it is better for children to learn and ask parents stuff than them learn about it from other kids.

You are doing the right thing by talking to her about it.  However, I would not wait until she asks again.  Open the line of communication up with her.  That way later on in life, when you need to discuss these types of items with her, the embarrassment will not be there.  That is why most kids do not talk to their parents is out of "OH I will get into trouble, or I am embarrassed by it"

Keep up the talk, be honest, but in terms that she will understand, and if repeats will not get in trouble at school for.

 

Great thread!!  In an attempt to not get wordy - which I can...my take is this -

Parents are the parents and I believe they should be the primary ones to educate.

Not all parent / child relationship are conduscive for that and it is also important that children should hear this education from other sources - SO YES schools should teach.

If parents are concerned, they should ask to see the curriculm and even observe in classes before their children attend - this way the can decide how they want to talk about the otuside education their children are receiving.

I wouldn't say a parent may withhold their child from it because the reality is that some (not all, some) would do that for hte wrong reasons and only the children suffer.

As parents were should be involved and be sure that our children are informed of objective and factual information.  There is no right answer and that is why I do feel that it is important for multiple sources and the parent to still be 100% involved in the education.

My mom tried, but couldn't talk to me, it was very uncomfortable for both.  She gave me the facts, but I really didn't respect her at the time for other reasons and the reality was, I didn't care what she had to say.  If I hadn't had some basic education at school, I could have made some different choices.  That has no reflection on my parents and their dedication to being good parents - it is the simple fact that there is a point in some childrens life where he/she needs input from others and hopefully not his/her peers, but other adults who can provide an good foundation.

See - I did get wordy, so I will end on this...

I think you did fine, if she is okay with the answers you gave, no need to press further.  She is okay and you set a standard that it is okay to talk about it without it getting wierd - hopefully when she is ready for more information (and hoping that is in a few more years), she will be comfortable coming to you again and that way you are the primary educator on the topic.

Just to clear up what I mean about no schools shouldn't talk to our kids .....it should be something discussed with the parents and the school first.  I feel the schools should ask the parents if they want their children to attend that class.  It shouldn't just be part of the cirriculum.  Because not all kids are ready for that info at the same time.  My neices and nephews are prime examples...my nephew was asking questions and 7 and 8,(he is now 14) he was able to except and understand it, his sister who is a year younger(now 13) started asking at age 5, his other sister who is 3 years younger has only asked the basic questions and she is almost 12.  She knows she isn't ready for that info and so it shouldn't be forced on her.  She is going to be 12 and freaked out because a boy wanted to hold her hand, she likes boys and all, just isn't ready for all that kind of stuff.  She knows that at anytime she can go to her mom or come to me(I'm an active part of their lives, and their parents are ok with me talking to them if they come to me) and we will answer any questions she has.  She is informed with the basics and she is happy with that.

ok when i was pretty young my mom rented my sister and i video that talked about sex and afterward she would answer any questions we had. i had a bf from kindergarden till around the 4th grade and she was extermely interested in anything that had to do with sex, we would go to the public library and her mom would let her get lots of books on the subject and it seemed to be the only thing she could talk about. me on the other hand i wasnt really interested in any of it and couldnt understand why she was so obsessed so i would usally just blow it off.

in hs we had health class for half a year they covered everything for making out, petting, oral sex, contraceptives and loads of other stuff along with general health stuff and cpr. the teacher i had for the class wasnt into teaching about sex and felt it was wrong for a school to be teaching about it he was just stuck teaching it, i think he was either a coach or a shop teacher so he just taught what he had to straight from the book. the bad thing was that alot of the kids at my school had already had a baby or were pregnant one girl i was in the class with was pregnant at the time hell the school had a day care on campus for students kids.

one very good thing that comes from sex ed taught in schools is they can teach the kids stuff that maybe the parents dont really know about like certian stds and newer forms of contraceptives. the sad reality is alot of parents dont seem to have time for their kids anymore everybody is busy busy busy, parents are working more and longer hours, kids are in school and after school care or being bounced around to different activities which doesnt leave much time to talk and then there are the parents that arnt comfortable talking to their kids about sex. if kids arnt taught about sex they will hear random usally bad info from other kids or just try and figure it out on their own.

i dont know if anyone remembers an article that was all over the news years ago, it was about a german couple that were both raised in extremely strict religious households. well they were never taught about sex, they were married for a few years and wondered why they didnt have a baby yet so they went to the doctor and asked. well when the doctor asked how long they had been trying and how often they have sex they said never. they were raised so sheltered that they didnt even know how babies were made hehe. i dont know if its true or not but it leads to alot of wishful thinking if only kids didnt know about certian things until we told them about them then we could keep sex a secret till their wedding day =P

Great answers!  I have already taught Nolan about his privates staying private and to tell mommy and daddy if anyone touches them.  He is in preschool and I know I can't be with him.  There are alot of people in and out of his preschool, at the Y.  My sister works at a holding facility for sexual predators- She has had alot of training and I have heard some horror stories.  

Every parent has to judge their parents maturity level, my dh and I already talked about how we will approach sex-ed. We know one day the schools will step in it doesn't hurt to ask for the teaching materials so you can review and go from there.   You tell the truth and hope for the best.   I don't think giving misinformation is a good idea- With anything education is key!!!

We had most of this discussion at 4! Whew.

I went with a combo of science and nature, but all truth.

I talked about sperm and egg, but left out the insertion process, though if I recall, that came up antoher time.  We have talked about genes, zygotes, penis, vagina, and timing, as in its wonderful and all good AFTER COLLEGE.

By the time they talk about it officially at school, she'll be able to teach the class herself, insofar as what they are teaching.

On the one hand, I don't want her to grow up to quick, but on the other I don't want misinformation or a sense that she has to turn elsewhere for answers.

So far, it's worked great.  She knows, doesn't pry further, and is 100% little kid, dancing and singing and making up rhymes.  I don't think I blew her innocence by being straight up, and I set the stage to discuss sex on the emotional level versus the physical process. 

I say educate as well.  If she is asking about it then it seems she is hearing about it and you never know what she is hearing at school thru other kids!  My mom talked to me as well as gave me a set of little books to read alone when I had questions that maybe i was ucomfortable asking her.  I plan on doing the same. But i do think it should be offered in school to correct the kids that have never been tought at home or got confused along the way as well as suppliment what we as parents tell.  Using maybe terminology that parents don't know.  etc etc.