I am new to Mommytalk and hope to reach out to other mothers for advice. I have a 6 year old daughter in the 1st grade. Most of the time, she gets along with her classmates. Occassionaly, we have some problems. But, normal. For the past 6 months, she has had exposure to other children with a very loose discipline home life. Okay kids with some issues. A 9 yr old boy and a 4 yr old boy. Neat kids. However recently, the 9 yr old boy has started to initiate conflict wtihin the group, especially if another child is introduced. He seems to pick fights, taunt or tell the other children not to play with my daughter. It is getting worse. So, my husband and I speak with the mother and she promises to take care of it. Now, he is doing more often and I feel that my daughter is developing some of his personality traits. Such as emotional meltdowns, not listening to us (more than the usual selective hearing)- very defiant. She has not shown these traits before.

The twist: these boys are my nephews. I would/could severely do damage to the family if not careful. So, I am seeking advice. What are some suggestions?

 

Thank you for your comments and suggestions!

So  , how close are you to your brother? Can you talk to him honestly? How about your mom? What does she suggest? Just  asking because good to know whom your allies are ... I loved Raches suggestions /comments I hope she reposts here ... As for me  I say try to keep kids at your home set the rules and keep consequences same for any broken rules. Thats polite ... talk to the boys , gently but firmly ... and PRAY  about it, if you are a believer...

I want you to know I have been through simalur things with family too.... my brothers son is definatly a special kid with behavior issues that need extra attention. I try to limit the time my children spend with him, as they do pick up li'l things that I don't think suits them... I have told my brother how I feel about things and thankfully he is understaning... He works on his sons behaviors which I totally give him kudos for I never let them play alone with him I am always sure to be right there to correct his teachings...if he's teaching my kids naughty things... I'm always nice abou it too... I just tell the kids my thoughts on the situstion... and they tend to go with the grown up ideas so far I win my family is super close when it comes to raising kids too.... it takes a village my brother has permission to disipline my children as I do his so when things get real bad Aunty Rachel is aloud to dish out sentences. which makes for a much smoother visit

Thanks for the suggestions. I am utilizing them now!

The boys belong to my sister-in-law. We are pretty close. After talking with her and the boys, we set time limits. We are doing 30 mins play, 30 mins away. If they are playing nicely, we are going up to 45 mins. Either way, the taunting has decreased. I am now concerned with my daughters' awareness to the situation and using it to benefit herself. I am very proud of her for being so big and trying to get along. She is very independent and very competitive.

Thank you, again!