For some reason my 14 yr old son Phaylin has grown angry at the world in the past few months. He doesnt really show it at home but when he gets to school the world falls apart for him. I think the begining of the day is ok but by the afternoon hes grown angry. He has made some verbal threats mostly under his breath that "Im pissed off and you better leave me alone or Im gonna get you." Or one I found out about, he told another student... "If I had an AK-47 Id shoot you right now!" He got sent home for that one. My idiot husband kept that one from me.  I know he has been picked on most of his school life but Im not sure what is happening now. Im not sure if its all the teen hormones or what but this has got to stop. I keep telling him if he is angry at the world keep your mouth shut.  He wont tell me what is going on in school and I know he is failing some classes. Im going with his father to school tomarrow to talk to the principal and his councelor about what is gonna happen. He may end up repeating the 9th grade. I have told him that if he keeps making threats that he is gonna be kicked out of school or even worse arrested. Im at a loss. All I can do is take his electronics and phone away from him for awhile. Just dont know what to do anymore.

Don't have any advice- sorry but you are in my thought!

Thanks.

counceling...might be a good idea...

I totally agree - counseling and you may need to go to a couple before you find one your son clicks with. 

My parents sent me to counseling at that age - world of good.  My lil bro, on the other hand, they did not and should have. 

You and your family have been through a lot this past year and from other posts, it sounds like you & husband are going through stuff.  An outside counselor would probably help your son deal with home, school pressure and all the other stuff that can be so difficult as a teenager.

Best of luck you and him.

I have been thinking about sending him to counceling again. Guess I should go and locate a good one hopefully. Thanks.

My mom had me seeing a counselor when i was 15 at the time i thoguht it was a waste of my PRECIOUS time but looking back it did help.  I was able to tell her things that i wasn't able to talk to my mother or anyone else about for the matter..  I will say that it did take me quite some time to feel comfortable enough and trust her to be able to speak with her about what was going.  I remember when i was that age....  i got picked on at school, and instead of being a taddle tail i would just kick there a$$.  I hung out with an older crowd I was drinking and trying various drugs.  I got my first tattoo at 15 and my first MIP at 16..  I went through a rebellious stage..  Anyways before my story gets any longer.  When i was punished at home (ie: grounded, things taken away ect.. ) I can honestly say that it pissed me off even more and because i knew it made my mom mad I jsut kept doing it and would do things just out of spite.  It's a tricky thing (teenagers) However, I do know that you wil do what is best for your son and his future.   I hope everything goes well for you..

P.S. Have you ever heard of Job Corp?  I was in a lot of trouble in those day and after I was kicked out of my 3rd school I was sent there by the state it was Mandatory.....

 

Keri  Im PROUD of how your whole outlook on life is changing  ....I Mean whenever any of us has suggested counsel before all youd say is been n done . no matter  who said or  what was suggested... So to hear you are WILLING   WOW   I Do believe you are taking control of your life Hon... Ill keep your family in my prayers Keri...

Good luck - anger can be an outlet for things he's not even aware of - it's probably more a symptom than the main issue - I'd encourage counseling - perhaps with a male counselor - who can help him sort through his issues . . . Also - a good counselor on your side can meet with the school and help you advocate for him . . .

as my own 16 year-old drives me nuts - my good friend advised me not to take my son's adolescence personally - most teenage boys reach a point of rebellion - but he sounds like he has some issues (I also work part-time in a psychiatrist's office who is a friend) - trust me there could be interventions available at school if it turns out he has add, asbergers, ocd, simple stress, whatever . . I don't really know more and I'm not clinical . . . but a good clinical evaluation wouldn't be a bad idea before the issues escalate to suspensions or problems with the law . . 

just don't give up - and remember as his mom you're the best advocate he has - even if he doesn't realize it and hates you for trying to help - if you don't who will?  stay strong and know you're not the only mom who has a teen with issues - most of us do . . .

Well here is abit of an update. I had a conference with a few of his teachers, principal, councelor and the school shrink. They have decided to with our permission to have him tested for special-ed.  Im not happy about it but I will do it. I had a very hard time and dispised the school system here because of what they did to me as a child. They made me do all the IQ tests and in the end the school shrink got in my face and said "My God you are stupid arent you!" Well I cant help it that it takes me awhile to learn things. Im not stupid but they didnt care and stuck me with those that were disabled mentally. So I sat there and cried abit cause it brought back tons of hurtful feelings and so forth. But I am gonna have him tested anyways. I cant do anything else for him in school. We both have tried.

Antygamma, I never said I wont look for a councelor. I have been thinking about it long before looking for thoughts from here. Im just frustrated by this whole thing.

 

Oh Keri how that must still hurt you and Sorry for misunderstanding. Just meant  that because youd tried and failed in past w not so great counselors  you went thru a time while you were so down about life period that you gave some  pretty hopeless answers... and that now I see you hoping again ... reaching out and thats a compliment  not a put down so please dont take as one .  I AM Proud of you  Keri for many reasons  and  that is just one. I love that your posts are getting more positive and hopeful You are a lovely woman , smart and so full of love   who has been beaten down by life   Youve faced cancer w courage and  won.. You  havent had much of a support system at home  from all youve shared here and  thats hard to be upbeat... Yet since youve been back to work and doing this difficult job you so love you are fighting for yourself and your kids in a new and better way. I love Katrinas suggestions to you , always have as shes reached out to help at  every issue almost w your son. And sounds like shes fought a similar hard fight ...    And all other love and counsel from all here..  No judgement calls from me , simply Kudos  

Ok. I took my son Phaylin down to the Dr yesterday and got him put back onto Adderall. Its a once a day pill and he seems excited about taking it again. We are starting down at the bottom again. 10mgs. In a week if I see no improvement I can increase it to 20mgs. Eventually we can end up at 30mgs.

Will let ya know what happens.

I hope the Adderall will work for him.  I taught special ed for 6 1/2 years and let me tell you, Adderall did a world of wonders for some of my students.

I am also very sorry to hear that you had such a terrible time in school.  That school psychologist that said that to you should have been fired.  Obviously they were not in the right profession.

In any case.  What school does Phaylin go to?  Just curious.  I might know the teachers there. 

Val,

 Thanks. Im hoping all works out well for him this time around. He has to repeat the 9th grade but hopefully this time with the right dosage he will pass just fine. Both my kids go to Brimhall Jr. High in Mesa.

 

Here is an update!!! The  school shrink has decided that my son doesnt qualify for special ed. He keeps telling me that my son shows signs of autism and/or asperger syndrome. He doesnt. He has gone to many different shrinks and his family Dr says that he isnt. Even my son's Sargent in his ROTC program who has delt with alot of ADHD and special needs kids says no way. It frustrates me that the school is trying to label him as something he isnt. I guess a teacher who deals with autisic students says he has it. She isnt professionally trained to diagnose. But my son is doing much better on his meds.  A couple weeks ago he came trotting home with an application to work in the school cafeteria next year. I asked him if this is what he wanted and he said yes. So I filled it out well my part and he did his part and he turned it in. He GOT THE JOB! Im so proud of him for that. This summer we are sending him to summer camp with his ROTC group in California. He will be spending a week out there on a real army base and out on a navy ship. He will be learning all sorts of stuff like firing rifles, rockwall climbing and the like. It wasnt cheap but I paid it. I want him to have fun and experience the army life. Hes excited to go. I WANNA GO!!!!

Between me and my husband we have decided that if he cant pass the 9th grade again we will pull him out and have him get his GED. He does well on tests but the lack of doing classwork is what is causing him to fail. My son wants to be a firefighter when he finishes school so this will be good for him. I told him that if he can get C's or better for half of this fall that he can join the local Fire Explorer program. But they require C's or better. He said cool. So we will see.

Thats all.