Okay I know we have a group- but we all need to let it out- a bitch board if you will.  i will start.

Yet again my not so DH let another special occasion go by without anything.  I was willing to let it go until he told me the guys at work were making joke Valentines-What you guys were joking and you didn't think that your wife the mother of your children would need a little real no joke gift.  Yes I have all the supplies to make fancy cards- i scrapbook so it is easy for me- Yes i have set aside time to do it.  But meanwhile right now his ass is plastered to the couch.  I don't have to make those special things I can sit on my ass all day but I love to make these moments special for my kids.  A piece of paper, crayons and some ribbon we have a memory.  The kicker this jerk off works at a paper converting factory-they cut paper all day.  DO NOT tell me you couldn't of picked a scrap off the floor drew a heart and wrote a heartfilled message! 

im hating my dog right now

yesterday he decided simons big helium balloon was the scariest thing on earth. instead of getting as far away as possible from it he jumps up on the couch and pees. the irony is balloons are his favorite toys. today it had to rain the backyard was finally dry so i didnt have to worry about him going in the mud, well of course its wet enough that is muddy go to let him in and his feet are covered in mud, so i get the towel and spray bottle to clean them off. well of course he wants no part of it he wiggling and trying to bite me so i grab him any way i can he pees all over the place while i run in our bedroom to toss him in his kennel. i decide alittle bit later to just put some water in the tub and stick him in it to get the mud off his feet well of course the shower curtin rod falls down and at this point im overly pissed so i go in the garage to try and find the other rod no luck. now the shower curtian and rod are on the bathroom floor i got the dogs paws clean and hes staying away from me and i feel like crap. i cant  stand being sick anymore im behing on cleaning i got to do the laundry yesterday by myself while tim vegged on the couch then i went and laid down and he got mad because simon was looking for me errrrrrrrrr. oh and i wake up this morning and theres a empty pizza box on the counter guess its to hard for the roomate to take it out to the trash it would of been really easy since the trash cans were t the curb right by his car. now tim is on his way home he will prolly feel like crap so i will get to listen to him whine and get mad at simon and the dog.

another day from hell. i get up let the dog out and i keep hearing growling and barking i look out and the dog is standing at the edge of the patio growling and squirting pee all over the patio. i go out to see what his deal is he tries to run past me to get inside hits the easy up(canopy thing) which is right by the door in its case it falls and lands right on him so he proceeds to pee all over himself and the patio. what he was barking and growling at was the trellis that was put up yesterday he was out there when it was put up and he was out a lot last nite. after all that i just left him outside till i got simon up and gave him his breakfast since he needed a bath. when simons eating his breakfast i bring the dog in and give him a bath which always sucks especially with one person doing it its much easier with 2, he shakes he tries to get away you have to keep a constant hold on him its just a pain. well now the dog is all freaked out i bring him into the living room to dry him and simon decides hes done he has to help with the dog which means freak him out even more. we get through that then go outside and of course simon has to go dig in the planter and fling the dirt into the grass i try to stop him with my hand which causes him to fall over the edging bricks into the planter so the crying begins i hold him for awhile then he runs to the door and starts yelling for daddy, daddy is at work. we come in he calms down until i decide to try and brush the dog well the dog doesnt liked to be brushed he shakes and runs away, then simon throws a fit because he wants to brush the dog, i give up put the brush away and simon finds something else to try and brush the dog with so the dog is running around freaked out simon is screaming and crying because the dog wont let him brush him. dog gets kicked outside simons fit continues and to think at this point we have only been up an hour ugh. after all that i try and eat what a big mistake simon starts his fit again saying more please more please but he wont say what he wants more of finally i go over to him and give him a spoonful of rice crispies and he shuts up woohoo finally i can eat in peace. well alittle bit later he decides to go play with the light switches (which we have way to many of ) he turns some lights on and ends up turning the ceiling fan off he didnt notice it for a bit but once he did he starts spinning to try and get it to come on then jumping to try and reach it and turn it on it was funny till the whining started and was about to turn into a full blown fit. i get up fast to turn it back on before hell breaks loose and i end up pulling the cord out of my laptop and it shuts down before i can get it plugged back in (battery was fried in a water spill). well guess i was to late to get the fan turned back on hell broke loose all out fit yelling dee dee moe dee dee moe so i say screw it and turn on the doodlebops just to get a break ugh. it has now been 2 hours since we got up i cant wait for nap time but then im afraid of what will happen when they get up from their naps =/ i have had my hurt toe stepped on a bunch already by simon and the dog but my pain doesnt count. i have already threatened that if this keeps up simon will not be going to the zoo tomorrow since i will not want to deal with him. im afraid to leave the house anymore since when we put him in his car seat he throws a massive screaming fit (he wants to sit on my lap we only do that when we are going to a store in the same parking lot) so i may just become a hermit.errrr its just a bad bad bad day i just want to curl up in bed and ignore everyone and everything =(

My MIL is a pain in the azz. Joshua had his first birthday on February 28 and this woman has seen him a total of maybe 30 mins since he was born. She didn't even send a card or call or anything.  She lives only about a mile from us, so travel is not an issue. We moved about 10 days ago (I was hoping hubby wouldn't tell her..and then she couldn't find us....LOL) and she didn't offer to do anything. Today I got an email from her asking if we got moved in and mentioned that she thought she would get a phone call from us to have her babysit Joshua. I mean, I never have needed her before (not that she has offered) why would I now. I wouldn't trust any of my children with that woman unless I was dying and didn't have a choice. I don't understand how someone as selfish and greedy as her had such a wonderful son like my husband. She and hubby's step dad has gotten so far in credit card debt that they don't even answer their phone. They spend all their money on her 7 dobermin pinchers and going gambling. My hubby has a very kind heart. A few weeks ago he suggested that we give our tithe money to them for a month to get them back on their feet a bit and that God would honor it. I told him HELL NO......they got themselves in this trouble and they are not even trying to walk with Christ. They would take the money and not pay on their bills and it would go to waste. I should feel bad for this, but I don't. We were in financial trouble quite a few years ago and they had money then and they did nothing to try to help us out. This is the path they have choosen. Anyways, thanks for letting me vent. I just wish this woman wouldnt' get to me the way she does.

Don't know if I am frustrated-more sad then anything.  Probably frustrated that I let a five year old get to me.  Nolan's SPD is not a huge Learning disability it is not as bad as Autism or others.  I have been on top of it and have a great support team, last night I was struggling and e-mailed his OT and got some great tips.  I felt great then today when I dropped off Nolan he was talking to some boys they were talking about a party then one told Nolan he wasn't invited.  My heart just broke for that little guy.  It brought me to tears I couldn't even get out of the building.  I just felt like no matter how hard we try  Spd is always going to make him a little different, hold him back in social situations or keep people from truly seeing what an awesome kid he is.  I know I can't protect him from getting hurt but I don't want his SPD to hold him back, in education and socially.

Okay the other day my (not-so) dh made the statement that his job was harder- whatever so what if it is but I think it shows a lack of respect when you make statments like that.  AUGHHH that just pissed me off.  I told him I wouldn't even respond to an-fill in the blank- comment like that.  that is one.  #2 Again (not so) dh said he would help with laundry.  I have been telling him for a month plus the dryer is not working i am having to run it 2X for it to dry clothes so I am far behind.  Okay so he throws a load in then brings clothes upstairs puts them on the table for me to fold, tells me he only threw his clothes in the wash Okay I should add I am in the middle of cooking our Easter dinner and he goes and sits and watches TV hello!- switches loads again leaves clothes again for me to fold then this morning I go down and his load of clothes is still in the dryer-if you are going to help, help that is just annoying. I don't know I would just rather do it by myself then a half a$% attempt to help...looks like my job is not so easy after all.  Sorry so long I feel better now!

While most of the time I really like my job - right now not so much.  I am very frustrated with my manager - though extremely smart and really nice, he lacks some needed leadership skills.  Now is a time that he needs to step up and give a basic guidance - not happening.  It is even worse then it should be becuase I am a Spring baby and always find it hard to be confined to work this time of year - its in the 80's, I want to be outside, suffer the allergies, and play at the playground.  Instead, I'm in an office building!

So, on Tuesday... My DH lost his job... He got laid off, he hated his job anyway... but when I just found out I was preggers last year, he QUIT his job, that paided really well...UGH! So for 4 months of my 1st trimester, he was unemployed!!! NOW, we have a 10 month old... and hes at it again...UNEMPLOYED!!!! Yes, laid off, yes... umemployment checks... not enough... I loved being a stay at home mommy... Now, I can't go back to school, I have to go find a job too, lets see who gets a job 1st.... GRRR... I am venting only because I know he wont come on this site and read this... I know he thinks i'm being a nag, and its only been 2 days... but damn it, wake up early and go job hunting! Okay... i'm done... no more pitty party for me.

Hubby and I decided long before we had kids, that I would stay home until they go to kindergarten.  Last week I was offered a rural motor paper route that paid $640 a month. We agreed that it would be ok for me to do it and if I didn't feel up to doing it on the weekends that hubby would do the route. I emailed the person back to get things started. I didn't hear anything for 3 days, so I emailed her again. She emailed me back and said that she never received the note and now the job was already filled. I am so bummed out. We can live without the money, but it would be great to make the money and just put it in savings to make any repairs to the new house that will come up. Sigh!

omg- I was doin' so good today.  I washed the kitchen floor on my hands and knees-then just now I fixed myself something to eat prepared some juice in my glass pitcher, poured it into my cup then I didn't even set the pitcher down when the bottomof the pitcher came off- yes the bottom of the pitcher broke completely off!  BLUEBERRY POMEGRANTE JUICE everywhere on the counter under the microwave on the cupboards and on the newly cleaned kitchen floor AUGHHHH!  It also got on the bottom of the 2 cookbooks I got for christmas.  HEre is a pic of the books.... and this is the towel I had to use to pick up all the juice.....

Waiting around like a dumb idiot all day for people who said were going to visit- of course they didn't- no call either.  I made sure I had food etc.  HOW RUDE!

I just got done talkin' to my older sister.  She was talking about her Daughter who has Learning disabilities.  THe school suggested she apply for social security to assist with possible costs in extra help with education.  My niece is 8 and cannot read.  My sister told me she wouldn't do it because it was to much work- she find something else.  My sister is poor and has alot alot of debt and SS could help.  I am so frustrated I tried to guide her tell her it would be great help.  But she still does not want it.  I know it is hard to face that your child has a disability but she has been denying her daughter now for 3 years and her son who has a disability and now is 16 and is in jail!  It just makes me sick I want to shake her.  I'd go to hell and back for my kids education- I told DH #1is to be sure my kids have every oppurtunity- tutoring, extra classes whatever to get a good education!  And here she is practically getting a free hand out all she has to do is fill out papers AND SHE CAN'T EVEN DO THAT!  I am so pissed off at her! 

I hate the way I am.  If i think I can do something I want to do it perfectly.  And if i cant do it perfectly or think i cant, i wont do it.  I will totally put it off untill there is no more getting around it, and i just have to do it.  So I end up with a lot to do, and no time to do it.  Blah i am so sick of myself.

taxes i hate taxes no matter what we never end up getting any money back. there has been only 1 time we actually saw a tax return and that was 9 years ago. for the longest time no matter how much tim had taken out we owed when i was working i had the max taken out and we still owed. we had most of it paid down from a couple times we were supposed to get small returns but now its looking like we are going to owe again even though we can write off the taxes we have paid for the house and other stuff but now they want to tack on a $1k tax for tim doing contract work its listed as a self employed/own buisness tax which is bs, all he does is fix a places web site and makes applications for them when they need it which hasnt been to often since they deal in real estate. so that $1k tax makes it so we owe them money, its 1099 but we pay the taxes owed on the money we just dont need to get hit with a 1k extra tax. i was looking forward to a vacation or getting the backyard done now all we will have is more debt how fun errrrrrrr.

I woke up early this morning to take the boys to school. I then went to the store to buy some food. Got back and went with dh to pick up our suburban from the shop. Later I took the boys to baseball practice that lasted three hours. Then I took the boys to a School Carnival. My four year old was feeling in pain from the five shots he had earlier in the day. I could no longer walk with him because he was in such pain. I left the two older boys in school while they finished playing with the tickets I had purchased. I was waiting with two crying babies in the suburban for an hour. I was so tired after that, I feel bad because I did not buy them MCDonald's like I had pormise them. Busy day today and tomorow again!!