My son is ADHD, 16 & a moderate behavior challenge until the 9th grade. He committed some prank vandalism with some kids and started making rap music. Now he's totally rejected in his class. He wants to leave our Christian college prep school next year and is being treated for depression
His grades dropped to c's this semester. He's mostly been a B average. He wants to try a 2 year program in our area: a collegic high school. It's for juniors and seniors who want to graduate with an associate degree. Now granted I know he will be lucky to make C's and my fear is he won't even pass. It's 5 core classes and since he's adhd my school didn't require foreign language so he'd have to have that as one of the 5. His psychiatrist said he would lean towards not saying No but my husband and I are like "we need to take our heads out of the sand, this is for bright, high achieving kids who want to be in college at 17"... My son doesn't particularly like the idea of working so hard but is wanting so badly to get out of here. (Our public school is horrible-I work at the Christian school so the tuition is reduced. There is an ADHD school for $15k a year but I don't really think my son needs that help to justify the $ plus I wonder if there will be any stigma for graduating from a ld school.)

The charter college school is free-books and all and a laptop for 2 years.

His PSAT and ACT's were low in science and esp. in math. He wants to be an audio engineer at a 4 yr college and has to raise his math level before applying. So it seems like it would be a good deal if he could handle it. (But I cannot get him to clean his room most of the time so I have no idea how he would suddenly become an adult before our eyes)

Would it mess up his future if he did fail?  It would always be on record. Any ideas?

I'm with the Dr.... have a lil faith in the boy, he might surprise you he may just not be getting challenged enough at the school he is at now... seems a lil tougher curriculum might be good for him.

I dont know any teens that keep there room clean..I know, I didn't

Up until I was 17 I lived with my mother she had a tight grip on me I was not doing so hot in school. I made the decision to move in with my father where I would have less supervision for obvious reasons as a teen I needed some freedom. My grades improved greatly I got involved more at school and turned out pretty well left to my own decision making...She never thought I do as well as I did. But I proved her wrong... let your son have the opportunity to do the same. If he fails miserable be there for him help him pick up the pieces and move on if he excels continue to stand in his corner and cheer him on.

thats my .02

Well Said R.  You are a mom and you want to protect him-like all us moms do.  He wants to spread his wings a little.  Could you work out a deal with him- let him try, with the condition that he keep his grades up and be on his best behavior.  Tell him if he doesn't keep up his end you are going to have to real him in.  Let him prove himself to be the grown-up he wants to be, support him in his decisions-but above all be there to guide him.

unfortantly or fortunatly I have a 16 year old brother who is hell bent on giving my mom a coranary.  I swear it wasn't long ago- I was in his shoes, but he is just a pain in the A#$  Do you think he is just being contrary, you said he was seeing someone-that is good.  Unfortunatly teens are going to make pretty crappy decisions we just have to stear them in the right direction.  You have all the input from teacher, etc. It sounds like you are on the right path.  I can imagine because he has ADHD it is hard to imagine him sticking to one thing.  Good luck to you

Ok I would say that you set the rule that you will let him try the new school, but that if he can't handle the work load he has to return to your school and graduate with a diploma, not a GED.  I would be proud that my child wanted to try something that could better who they are.  Take that as he wants to do better and give him a chance. 

My daughter is in private school and the past 2 years the Administrator has been getting our Jrs and Srs enrolled in the local colleges to get all the basics out of the way.  When they graduate High School they already have 2 years of college out of the way.  I think its great.  I wish she would have done that with me.  I graduated from my daughters school.  We have pre-12 there.  All my kids will attend and hopefully graduate from there.

SO are these average kids of average intellegence and motivation? 

 

I say let him try this. If he really wants to succeed he will. If he doesn't, then it's time to look at Plan B.  If he fails, it's not the end of the world. Kids learn valuable lessons from failure. They learn little by being protected from failure. There are many schools out there for all kinds of kids. You just need to find the right fit. I hope this is it. Good luck!

I feel your pain - I have three kids - 2 boys (16 & 19) and a girl (16.)  Boys especially can be frustrating - at least in my case.  I would vote for letting your son try the new school - and commit to it for at least a semester - part of growing up is learning to make choices - and living with their consequences.  Also - it sounds like that's free, compared to paying tuition where he is.  And . . . if it's his choice, he may be more committed to it.  Sometimes, w/depression getting surrounded by a different set of kids mighty also be a positive change. 

 My oldest has ADHD really bad - the inattentive, space cadet, non-scholarly type - TOTALLY FRUSTRATING - .  And, like I tell my husband, if he judges kids by how clean their room is, I'd have been in huge trouble. 

 

Good luck!