I couldn't see how long you & your spouse have been together, but one thing about blending families is to remember that YOU were the one who got to know and fell in love with your husband - not your kids.  Kids are basically along for the ride most of the time.  Does your husband do anything with your kids like take them to the park, swimming, hiking, bike riding, playing ball, etc.?  He may even want to take each for a 1-on-1 special kind of 'date' day over the course of several weeks (perhaps each Saturday morning is one kids' day w/ dad - you can even put this on the family calendar so everyone knows whose turn it is and when their day is next).  Maybe you'll want to do a day w/ mom on Sunday mornings then so your step child is included in 1-on-1 with you as well.

It's very normal to have friction when families blend, but remembering that your husband cannot be respected as a father until it's earned might help.  To do otherwise is only to ask for resentment from the kids.  I know it's hard when he's used to being a parent, but marrying you does not give him instant free pass to parent your kids anymore than you'd expect a school teacher to parent your child just b/c your kid ended up in that teacher's classroom, right?

somehow I mis-read the instructions at the top so I didn't post this great shot I took w/ my cell phone 2 weeks ago, but now that I've re-read it and know it's not too late to post, here is my little man enjoying some time in the children's library:

I haven't done it yet, but after my last birthing experience, I am determined that the next baby will be born at home and I'm 90% positive I will be doing it unassisted.  DH is fine with me having a home birth... as long as he doesn't have to be home while it's happening

Just wondering if any of you mamas had had HBs, especially any HB or UC after a c-section.  My first two were natural and the 3rd was a cluster F of white coats interfering with my body's ability to birth my child.  I wound up with a c-section and wouldn't wish that on ANYONE!!  One Dr. told me that any future children had better be c-section, too... so, me being me, I'm bent on having an UHBAC.  LOL

Speaking of the next pregnancy, I'm anxiously in a 2ww right now and having SO many symptoms!!  I hope they're not in my head!  I should know for sure in the next few days, so wish me luck!

I have not yet considered the Bradley Method, but would definitely give it a shot although I'm pretty sure I could implement much of what they teach myself.

As for learning as much about it as possible, I've been reading extensively - it's part of why I'm so excited to have one/go through it.  There are a ton of great HB and UC birth stories on mothering.com - they give me so much hope & courage!  And, of course, if I ever get another BFP (I'm out for this month - AF came yesterday), I'd dive head first to get every shred of informaiton possible b/c I'm a knowledge junkie

I'm just glad nobody's calling me crazy LOL   I'm sure many read my post & thought it, but nobody said it.  Of course, it is kind of expected just b/c I'd have said the same thing when I had my first & second sons (14 & 9 years ago respectively).  I was *almost* courageous enough to consider it 2 years ago and really, really wish I had trusted my instincts on it... so, now, out of regret comes empowerment.  I guess I went through that experience for good reason after all! 

I voted for 5+ because that's kind of the situation I'm in.  We have 4 boys right now - I had 2 boys and my husband had 1 from a previous relationship then we had 1 together to make #4. 

I was so happy to have a boy the first time.  The second time, I felt a tad disappointed, but dealt with it.  Then I married my husband who had a son and that was perfectly okay with me... but then we had our first together and I was beyond devastated to have yet another boy.  Of course, I love him to death and wouldn't trade him for the world, but I was so, so sad not to have a daughter.  I wasn't upset that I was having a healthy baby boy, I was devastated to not be having a daughter if that makes sense.  But he's here, he's 2 and we're probably going to try again in the next year.  I'm going to start the "girl" diet and we'll make every low-tech (free) effort to sway for a girl... but if my youngest son has a little brother, that'll be alright (it'll have to be LOL).  I will always wish I'd had a daughter, but I'll just move on to "Plan B" if #5 is a boy - I'd like to wait till the boys grow up a bit and then become a foster parent, possibly doing foster to adopt.  That's the only sure-fire way I know of to get a girl (er, without scientific intervention before conception).

Only you can decide what's best for your family, but I think that every child is an absolute blessing.  I do not believe kids miss out on anything by coming from a large family.  I also don't quite get the need of more space to accommodate more people - I live in a 2200ish sq. foot home with 4 bedrooms and have been taking in a pile of foreign exchange students over the summer - we have had 8 teenagers, two 8 year olds, one toddler and 2 adults sharing ONE bathroom over the past couple weeks and we've lived just fine.  Granted, the exchange kids are in classes during the day, but on weekends when everyone is home, there are no problems - they go outside to play ball or gather in our "rec room" (our enclosed front porch) to play video games and fooseball, etc.  We ate in shifts most nights, but as with every situation in life, somehow we all made it work.  If your family gets too big, you WILL need a bigger vehicle unless you're prepared to take 2 vehicles wherever you need to go, but it's only for a few years before they're all grown & gone

Anyone else a host family for kids from around the world?  We've been involved with a group called FLS for the past year plus.  We've had over 20 different boys & men staying in our home with stays ranging from 5 nights to 8 months!  Now, we've just signed on with a new group called PAX and are finally expecting a girl (praise the Lord! lol).  She is arriving 8/14 and is from the country of Georgia (formerly USSR).  She is 17 and seems so bright and eager to be here!  I'm so happy to finally have a girl and really praying we hit it off - we already have a lot in common - she wants to be a journalist when she grows up and I am a writer and news junky

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced (or would like to know more about!) this great opportunity.

Depending on the student's English ability, it definitely can be quite challenging.  Unfortunately for me, I literally *just* realized that you can get translations done online for free!  You can also do it in Microsoft Word.  This helped me significantly over the past few weeks when we were hosting multiple Chinese students.  Their culture is vastly different from our own and it presents a lot of challenges, but the experience is still more positive than negative.

Depends on which agency or group you're going through.  We get $100/wk. through FLS (and we had up to EIGHT Chinese kids per week for two weeks in July!) and the kids DEFINITELY bring spending money - nearly all of the kids go home with new laptops, PSPs, PS3's, and all the games to go with.  It's NUTS how much they spend!  We estimated one of our kids from Brazil last year spent close to 5K in his 3 weeks here!

Unfortunately, the new program we're doing, PAX, does not pay us.  This girl is going to be like one of our own kids.  She will, however, get $125/mo. as her own spending money for movies, dances, clothing, fun stuff, etc.  She's coming on a scholarship sponsored by the state department which was created after 9/11 to help improve relations between the US and other countries (many of them Muslim - we *almost* had an Egyptian boy, but begged for a girl instead).  These kids are aged 15-18 and our girl was one of 200 chosen for the reward out of 50,000 who initially applied!!  We can also keep getting FLS kids when she's here, so we'll most likely do that.

That's awesome that you've experienced it first hand!  I imagine Pol still remembers his year spent here and has told many, many people over the years about his experience.  That's a big part of why I do it - I figure for each child's life whom we touch, it will spread from them out to possibly hundreds of people over their lifetime, telling people from other countries that Americans are pretty good people.  I get tired of the media telling us how much we are hated around the world, so I figure this is like my way of doing something patriotic on behalf of the US.

With this new program, my own kids will be eligible for the YES scholarship when they are of age, should they choose to apply.  I've told my 9 year old homeschooled son this and he's determined to master Spanish so he can study abroad for a year when he's of age.  He's already had several Spanish classes, but he wasn't taking them very seriously - now, he has a renewed interest

Wow, that is really sad that people would be so dishonest.  I agree that you should probably go to the police - word needs to get out to others, especially the elderly who are often victims of these kinds of scams.

I wonder what the "gold" actually is since I'm sure it's NOT real gold!

I think a lot of it is a normal stage to go through for kids (in the 2-4 year old range).  Sharing toys is HARD!  They really do not understand that when someone else is playing with a toy, they can play with it later.

My youngest is 25 months old.  He often gets angry or frustrated when he wants something.  He will pull his fist back and announce, "Hit!" like fair warning, here it comes LOL

I refuse to spank him for something I view as a normal part of his emotional development.  When he's exhibiting behaviors I do not want like hitting or, lately, biting, I focus on telling him what I DO want him to be doing.

I don't know if any of you have read this before or not, but the subconscious mind is incapable of processing a negative directive.  This means that when you tell a child, "No hitting!" all their brain can process is "hitting!"  When they do something like messing with your favorite and highly breakable lamp and you tell them, "No touching the lamp!" they only hear "touching the lamp" and will continue to do so.  When you then smack their hand or put them in a corner for "time out", they have NO idea why they're being hit or punished.  Instead of focusing on what you do NOT want to have happen, try telling them what TO do.

When my son kicked our cat today (for no reason other than probably curiosity), I immediately said, "Logan, the poor kitty!  How sad that you kicked her.  We should LOVE the kitty and be sweet with the kitty.  Could you please tell her you're sorry and give her lovins?" He did it.  He said, "Sorry" to the cat then laid on the floor beside her, giving her hugs and kisses.  Yes, we will probably have to repeat this 200 more times in the future, but that is because their brains do not retain every detail from day to day.  You know how a kid gets obsessed with watching a movie 20 times a day?  Do you know why?  It's because they literally cannot remember an entire 90 minute long movie in one sitting the way we can.  They only retain 5-15 minutes of the entire movie each time - that's why they will watch it almost endlessly for 3-4 weeks before moving on to the next "obsession."

Imagine you start a new job.  You are put in a room with a desk, a phone, a computer and a stack of papers.  You are then told, "Do your work" but are not given any more specific instructions.  Imagine now that you can only communicate by using grunts or crying.  So you're lost and confused, having no idea what you're supposed to do.  You may try to pick up the phone but as soon as you do, your boss comes running into the room yelling at you, "That's naughty!  Do NOT use the phone!  Now do your work."  Okay, so maybe you shuffle through the papers and turn on the computer, just hoping you'll get it right.  As soon as you have turned on the computer, you start clicking to find the right program and again your boss comes into the room, sees what you're doing and yells at you, "You're doing the wrong thing!  You're going to be written up if you keep doing this!"  By  now, you'd probably be in tears.  After all, what ARE you supposed to be doing?!  Unfortunately, all you can do is keep trying to do the RIGHT thing but no matter what you do, it seems like it's wrong and you're in trouble.

Our toddlers and little ones are new to this world.  Their young brains are NOT at an adult level.  They need a LOT of guidance and instruction - repeatedly (remember the level of retention abilities!).

Now imagine that you start the same job and are put in a room with a desk, a phone, a computer, a stack of papers AND a person who can sit with you and instruct you on what to do and how to do it.  When you make a mistake, he or she gently says, "Oops, you need to do X instead of Y.  Go ahead and try again."  And when you get it right, he or she says, "You are starting to get the hang of things!  Good job!"

Put yourself in your little one's shoes and imagine that they are doing the best they can given the situation.  If other children are bullying and yours is picking it up, perhaps helping them identify the situation with words and understanding will help.  For example, "I know Johnny hits and pushes at daycare and that  makes the other children feel sad and angry.  When you push, your friends also feel sad and angry.  If you share your toys, everyone can play and enjoy them." 

Just my 2 cents.

Keep in mind that ultrasounds quite literally have a plus or minus THREE pounds ability to guage a baby's weight.  It has also been well documented that u/s is the *least* reliable method of predicting a baby's weight.

Eat healthy, exercise and make sure your blood pressure stays in a good range - then relax.  Your body was designed to give birth and, despite an insane amount of medical interventions, Mother Nature rarely grows a baby too big for your body to handle.