A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him. The huge man glares threateningly at his neighbor, crowds the little guy so much that he's flattened against the window, and immediately falls asleep.

After the plane takes off, the little guy starts to feel a little air sick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. After a few attempts, he realizes that he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do.

Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes over the little fellow. He just can't hold it in any longer and finally pukes all over the big guy's chest.

About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him.

"So," the little guy says brightly, "are you feeling better now?"

Very funny.

That was really funny!!!   Except that it actually kind of resembles something that happened to me when I was little.  I have always been a very sound sleeper (a little less so since the kids, though).  When my brother and I were little, we were staying with my aunt for a few nights.  The one night, my brother was feeling nervous and upset and couldn't sleep.  At one point, he got so worked up that he puked on his pillow.  He was afraid that if he woke up my aunt, she would be mad at him (understandable thought for a little kid, but wouldn't happen in a million years!!!).  At the same time, he didn't want to sleep in puke all night.  So, he looked over at me, sound asleep, and switched pillows.  So yeah, I got to sleep in someone else's puke all night, and in the morning my aunt thought I had puked.  Nice.

"I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples.  For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.  Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth." -Psalm 57:9-11. 

 

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                                     Divorce

   A Polish man moved  to the USA and married an American girl. Although they got along very well,his English was far from
perfect. One day he rushed  into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce  for him.
   The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and  asked him the following questions:

   Have you any  grounds?

   Yes, an acre and  half and nice little home.

   No, I mean what is  the foundation of this case?

   It made of   concrete.

   I don't think you  understand. Do  either of you have a real grudge?

   No, we have  carport, and not need one.

   I mean, What are  your relations like?

   All my relations  still in Poland..

   Is there any  infidelity in your marriage?

   We have  hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

   Does your wife  beat you up?

   No, I  always up before her. Is your wife a  nagger?

    No, she white.
  

   Why do you want   this divorce?

  She going to kill  me!!
   
   What makes you  think that?

   I got    proof.

    What kind of proof?

    She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.

 I can  read, and it say:    

      POLISH REMOVER