Rachel Sarah, a writer for Babycenter.com, is looking for parents and experts to chat about the following topics. Her deadline is July 7, so post your answers in the forum and I'll tell her to come here to check them out! If you want her contact you for further information, please include your email address. Thanks!

Query:

"I'm writing a feature about "What Makes Your
Child Feel Special."

I'd love to speak to both parents and parenting experts.

In our busy lives, it can be challenging to carve out time to make
your child(ren) feel special -- or to even remember to pause and
get down to their level.

I'd love to hear about the simple -- or wild -- things you might do
with your kids.

For example:

Do you have any special morning or bedtime routines? (Do you wake
up early for snuggle time? Do you dance together until you can't
dance anymore?)

Have you ever planned a surprise day for your child?(Set up a tea
party before your kids wake up, with no limit on the sugar bowl?
Have you brought your daughter to a surprise Hannah Montana concert?)

Do you ever break the rules? (Have waffles and ice cream for dinner?)

Have you ever had a "Fancy Nancy" day? (One mother at BabyCenter
talks about getting all dressed up in "sunglasses, a bright pink
feather boa, Minnie Mouse ears, tons of Mardi Gras beads, clip on
plastic earrings and a tutu over my jeans... and leaving the house
'all fancy.' ")

Do you ever drop everything and get down on the floor? (Piggy-back
ride or a pillow fight?)

What do you say to your child to make him/her feel special?
(There's the classic "I love you" and "I'm proud of you." What do
you say?)

I'd like to hear from parents -- AND from parenting experts.
Authors, therapists... please share your ideas!

Just spending quality time with my son (soon to be 5) makes him feel special.  There are times when we will go into my bedroom and I will lay down and be sick and he will be the doctor and bring in his tools and make mommy feel all better  He also feels special when I ask him to help me with something.  It can be as simple as moving the clothes from the washer to the dryer, or helping me while I prepare dinner.  Some times its the simple things in life that are so importable and rememberable.

 

Patty Reiser

patty.wahm@gmail.com

Right now for N it is letting him do more things on his own.  You wanna see a kid feel special let him make lemonade, and pour his own drink (and he pours mommy one)  The look on his face is AWESOME!

M is a cuddler.  She is really starting to gain her independence so when I sit next to her and read or watch Dora she cuddles right up to me.

Crafts are big in our house so when I pull out the craft basket the smiles come out!

My girls are still both real cuddlers.  I love that we snuggle on the couch with them.  I tell them I love them all the time.  We do play the 'I love you more game'.

I ask Bradley what made him feel special. he said dates with ME...awww

and he said when I sing his special song to him... that makes him feel special....

I know a boy with big green eyes and bradley is his name oh b- r- a- d- l -e- y  B-r-a-d-l-e-y- B-r-a-d-l-e-y- and BRadley is his name oh... i have been singing him that since he was born I'm glad it makes him feel special

My son is almost 2 1/2 so I'm not sure he actually comphrends - wow that just made me feel special - in a way he can communicate to me.  However, I believe some of the things we do make him feel special.  You can see it in his reactions and his day-to-day pesonality.

When he does something well or listens (a big thing at 2), we make a point of getting down at his level so we are eye to eye and with very happy tone tell him we are proud, good job, and give High 5 and always state the specific thing he did we are praising. 

DH & I often tell stories of things he did and involve him in the stories (both the good and not so good) this way he is engaged in the conversation and understands how important the things he does are to us.

Recently, we have started to give him stickers as a potty training techinque and it is amazing how he responds to the whole process.  It is a big deal to pick out the sticker he wants ad decide where to place it on his chart.  I think that I may make a sticker chart to hang on his wall for different behaviors - at least for now, it is totally registering with him.

And of course, we have our daily "I love yous", special story time, greetings when I pick him up and our bed time routine with the goodnight kiss & hug and sweet dreams see you tomorrow.  We have been consistent with the process and now that he is talking so much more, he requests parts of it before we get there.

I'm a working mom with a five year old daughter. I try to do a few different things with my daughter to make her feel special.

I'm a working mom so I try to involve my work with my family. As a college professor, I get the opportunity to bring my daughter to work. So, when I'm teaching any type of psychology class that invloves Children, development, etc. I bring my daughter to class and let her speak about her interests, her friends, school, etc. This allows my daughter to feel special and also adds in a good work ethic. My daughter always asks about my work and the best way to fill her curiosity is to show her what I do. The next day my daughter goes back to Kindergarten and tells everyone how she went to work with Mommy. This is a great experience for both of us and allows for Mommy & Me time.

 

I also include my daughter in some of Adult activities. Example: I have a friend who lives about 2 hours from me. I take my daughter with me and we all have a "Girls Lunch" My daughter loves to feel included in my life. So, taking her to work or out with my friends alone makes her feel special.

 

I answer my daughter with honesty. My daughter is five and is at that point of her life that she asks a lot of questions and asks "why" all the time. Instead of using the typical answers my parents used to say like - go ask your father or because I said so or because I'm the adult or I'm your parent. I take the time to explain to my daughter in simple terms why she can't do something or why something is wrong. If we take the time to explain Why then our kids won't repeat the negative behavior. If they don't understand why they will keep repeating the negative behaviors which will keep frustarting us as parents.

One more thing....

 

I also try to teach Positive Parenting skills when I teach Parenting workshops. Positive parenting is teaching Parents what Traits are learned. Some of those traits are: Kindness, manners, Patience, Honestl, Respect, etc. Once a parent knows these traits and that they can be taught to their children thru role modeling and explaining behaviors, the parents can change their ways. Parents can begin to show more of these traits, point these traits out by using volunteer work and positive reinforcement.  You can also encourage your children by teaching them to use their strengths and not focusing on their weaknesses.

 

Diane

lifeline36@aol.com ...

My daughter was about 4 at the time and seriously into Care Bears. She still is, but that is another story. I secretly bought tickets to the Care Bear show and didn't tell her where we were going until we drove up and she seen Care Bears everywhere. It was so cool. She felt so special.

We take time for bible study on wednesdays and the kids are in control. We read from the bible and get to ask questions and talk about what they want to. They really enjoy this.

After church activities on Sunday, we have family fun day. We either go somewhere to have fun or when the weather isn't so nice, we play board games or whatever with the kids. If a nap is in the plans, the kids get to sleep with us all in one bed. It is kinda chaotic, but fun.