A few months ago I had posted that my mom was depressed because her husband had left her. For some reason she started to change. She seemed more happy and more energetic. I was happy that finally she decided to leave the past just what it is the past.

Today she revealed that she has been seeing that man that left her. For some reason I had a feeling. I am not mad that she is happy, I thank God for that. I thought that her happynes had come from us her family. Today she told me crying over the phone that she had something very serious to tell me. That she did not know when the right time was. At first I thought that she was dying. Then It cliked, she had been seeing him again.

Like I said I have nothing against her being happy but he did some very bad things in the past not too mention he has called my mom a B*@!_* more than once. What he did he payd for in prison. God had given him a second chance when he met my mom. Then after 4 years he decided that he could not take it anymore and left her. His excuse was that she would take my brother and sister's side more than his. I admit my brother and sister were really bad to him but for that same reason.

All this time my mom was being hypocrate(may god forgive me for saying this) because she would be mad when ever I would mention my half siblings. Or my dad. I told her how could she be seeing him all this time and not tell us.She has been seeing him for 4 months now. All I know is that I don't want too see him and better not step foot in her house. What is going to happen now is that she is moving in with him at his place and she is going to rent that house out.

Iknow I am a bad person for puting her down like this but why would she do this. I guess we were not enough family. She says that she loves him and he is her hapyness but she would always put him down aslo. My life is going to change from now on. I will see her less since she is moving out. I am going to dedicate my life to spend more time with my half brother's and sister. I am so sad that this is going on but at the same time I thankg God for healing her heart

I can see why you are hurt. You feel your Mom is putting her needs before yours, and she is. I'm assuming that your other siblings are adults now. You all have your own lives, and she may be trying to fill a void in hers. Granted, he doesn't sound like a great guy, but short of telling her how you feel there is nothing you can do about her choice.  Just keep loving her in spite of her bad decision, just as I'm sure she kept loving you in spite of bad decisions you've made. (Haven't we all made bad decisions at some time?)

She is obviously looking for happiness, and this man must be giving her some. If he gets abusive toward her, you will have to step in, call the police, do whatever it takes to keep her safe. l

Whatever you do, don't shut your mom out of your life because of her choice in men. In fact, give her extra love. She might need it right now.

sHES a grown woman Ana... Let her be.... she must deal with this her own way  and  from all stuff going on  between you and her, my guess is that  shes doing in large part to get a rise out of you... Give her the the same space and respect you need w your  life.. If Im right and she sees you handling calmly and  respectfully she will soon tire of the  game.  If she simply wants him back  she alone must learn by her own mistakes.. Pray and leave it alone   just love her...

Do you think she is really doing this to get a rise out of you? I never thought of it until I read Anytgamma's post, but she might be right. She might actually be lonely. Some women need a man in their lives, even if the man is a negative factor. I have a very close friend like this who can be surrounded by loving friends and family, but if no man is around she feels lonely. Stick by your mom and welcome the man into your life unless he proves to be dangerous.

 

Sometimes I think the reason why she is back with him might be because she doesn't want to be lonely. What gets me mad is that she says that if when she gets old she wants him to be there to help her because she says that sometimes the children are not around meaning us. I am always going to be around to help her. She says she wants him tobe there for when she gets old but he is like almost 10 years older than her. I don't care anymore im just going to let it go. He is not bad but his cations were. She claims to be happy so whatever. Im just going to concentrate on me. What gets me mad is that she was intitled to be helped by him but she strugled all this time and did not have a job or a car and my husband and I helped her with everything and all this time she was seeing him WHY THE HECK DID HE NOT HELP HER WITH EVERYHTING. Sorry had tolet it out. I just don't want to se him. We think she is being used again but if he does use her and leaves her that is no her she knows better but is too blind too see that.

It sounds like she is lonely and needs someone there on a daily basis. Most adult children can't provide that kind of constant availablility. Wait and see.....their relationship will work out or not. But you should take the high road anyway.