Although my son is in preschool I think this goes more towards gradeschool.  Watching the kids have a race I heard the teacher say "everyone wins"  I notice thatt alot these days- is it good to have winners or 1st place???  Or should everyone win-

While I believe there are many ways in Life , and even in compititions   where we DO all win   even if we LOSE  HOWEVER...... I ALSO believe that Compition is ABSOLUTELY  NECESSERY  and WINNING and Losing is as important with Life Lessons as breathing!!!!! It molds and shapes  us , it teaches how to  cope when things dont go our way... it CHALLENGES us to do better    and hopefully how to  be compassionate. I am SADDENED  by the way   our kids are being robbed this way .

I agree!  People have gotten so excessively concerned about trying to prevent kids from ever feeling upset that they never learn how to deal with these things constructively.  No matter how much we try to protect our kids, there are going to be disappointments and things that don't go our way.  And kids are very smart- they know whether or not they have done a good job.  I think that praising kids for doing a mediocre job becomes empty words, and it loses it's meaning.  But kids need to learn that sometimes even when we do our best, we still don't always win, and that's ok.  These are really important lessons and the time to teach them is now.  Otherwise, they grow up into adults that don't know what it means to really try your best, to challenge yourself, and to deal with disappointment.

"I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples.  For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.  Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth." -Psalm 57:9-11. 

 

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I agree with everyone!!! A child needs to learn about winning and loosing and how to be a good sport when they do loose. I think it builds self-confidence and courage to try again and to know that nobody's perfect.

Personally, I get wanting to protect your child, but come on - everyone wins is not the real world.  I think it is important for children to understand that and learn a healthy balance.

I work with some GenY and yes, I say that being a border between GenX & Y; however, GenY is the generation that grew up with this everyone one wins (generally speaking) and it does cause challenges in the work place.

We have to learn to be humble and find our strengths, we are not good at everything. 

Chlidren need to learn that there are winners and losers and while running may not be their best attribute, something else is.  It is our jobs as parents to explain that and not have the children feel as though they are lacking in something. 

Personally I think its a load of crap.... if your child is good at something they should get praise! WOOO HOOO you won! your team rocks!

I won alot whne I was lil and I lost some too... I think the losses pushed me to try harder to figure out  that I was capable to win... or at least I felt good for trying my hardest.... always had fun.

teaching your children to be good losers is just as important as teaching them to be good winners. Its all about spotsmen ship.

I may feel this way because by nature im a very copetitive person.

in my city they are takeing IB classes out of the jr high levels so the average teen dosnt feel less then because the smart kids get special classes.... I really hate that idea.... why would you put limits on a kids education to spare the feelings of others..... i dont get it.

I have a perfect example.  When we were kids, well at those of us born in the early 70's and before - when you went to birthday parties, the ONLY person who walked out of that party with something other than cake crumbs and icing was the game winners.  There was no party bags for every kid that came to the party.  These party bags for 20-25 kids get EXPENSIVE, I told Hannah next year I am handing out gift cards and being done with it, would save the aggrevation.

I have taught my kids the spirit of competion and how to be a gracious winner and loser.  There is nothing wrong with coming in second, third, or last - as long as you try your best.  I see other kids in their class or that come over that are terrible losers / winners and it is sad that parents are not teaching the kids of today to be humble in everything they do, and life is not fair, some things you need to except.

btw your party for your kid should have as many kids as your kids age meaning ten year old ten kids and for my daughters party we made bags with bubbles and wands and hula necklaces and silly little tambourines and tehy cost about 10 bucks to make like 7 of them and i had a ton of  stuff left over.

Having a "no winners" policy cheats everyone. Winners need to not only be rewarded for their accomplishments, they need to learn how to handle their victory graciously. Losing gives the losers motivation to try harder next time, and it also teaches kids how to deal with life. There will always be someone taller, smarter, faster, better-looking, and more athletic than you. It stinks, but that's life!

I agree that learning to lose is very important in child development. The sooner your child experiences small losses, the easier it will be down the road to face bigger disappointments. Kids need to learn that life isn't always fair, other kids really are better than they are in certain areas, and participating is very rewarding..even if you don't win. After a game, I like to see both teams say "good game" to each other and shake hands, even if they don't really mean it. Doing this teaches them to be gracious in the face of defeat.