My Isabelle will be three months old in two weeks - my first.  At the start of the new year, I have to return to work and I am having the HARDEST time with this!!  Every time I think about it I cry.  My dream job has always been to be a mom and if I could do that by staying home, believe me, I would in a heartbeat.  However, like so many families these days, our family needs both paychecks (my husband's and mine)!   My father-in-law was a stay at home dad when his kids were young and has graciously agreed to grandpa-day-care!  A fact that I am thrilled about (didn't want to have to leave her with a stranger or at a daycare facility).  And my boss has warmed up to the idea of letting me work at home twice a week, so really I will only be away from her for three days out of the week, but it is still killing me!!!! 

I know I am not the only one that has gone through this, but the only sites on-line that I have found are about baby's separation anxiety.  Does anyone have any suggestions for coping with this? 

I was the exact same way.  I actually started being bothered by it BEFORE giving birth, and it just got worse.  I only worked 3 half days a week and it was even a different shift from DH so my girls were home with Daddy.  I really was hard at first and I cried all the way to work.  Once I got into working, I was usually too busy to worry.  It even got to the point where even though I didn't want to go to work, after I was there I enjoyed the little break and talking to people not wearing diapers!

I am lucky enough to be home now, but there are days I miss the interaction with my coworkers and patients.

It is hard!  I went to work after my son.  Before you head back maybe try leaving the house for a couple of hours(God knows you need a break!)  This might ease the tension on the first day.  Have pics. of your cute one and have a pic of yourself for him.  As in a previous post it is quality not the quanity of time you spend with your child

It was extremely hard for me at first too.  But, I guess better that you feel it than your daughter.  I am sure she will be very happy and healthy and well taken care of.  You will get to see her on your days at home and every time you get off work.  Each day it will get a little easier - as you see that she's happy and will be okay when you're gone.  Just remember that you are a strong, capable mother and that you can deal with this feeling and your baby will be just fine.

AND, MAY I ADD.........SHE WILL ALWAYS LOVE ,WANT AND NEED YOU    MOMMAS NOT REPLACABLE, THO SHE WILL LOVE HER CAREGIVER, SHE WILL BE THRILLED TO SEE DA MOMMA

Like all kinds of grief, time gradually eases the pain. I had 6 months off with my twin babies and then went back to work. I had a sitter come to the house. She was an amazing woman, and  I knew they were in capable hands. I walked to and from work, a couple of miles each way, often in a blizzard. I would cry the whole way to work and the whole way back every day for months. Walking helped me get the pain out of my system. I wasn't crying for the babies. I knew they were happy. I was crying for myself because I missed them so much. Gradually, I saw that they were happy and well-adjusted, and I eventually got used to it, but it took a while. I can honestly say that they never suffered a day because they had a sitter. They turned out great and have never known a stranger because they were used to having people around besides Mom. They became very adaptable and easygoing.

I really hope that you can deal with it okay.  I worked the first 2 1/2 years of my son's life and it never got any easier.  I was finally able to stop working six months ago.  I really wish that I could tell you that it is going to be easy really soon, but I can't.  I obviously had a harder time than others did for a longer period of time.

Even though I now stay home with him daily I signed him up for preschool two days a week for about four hours each day; however, he has not gone in about a month because I even now have a hard time leaving him even though I know he needs interaction with other children and learning activities in a preschool setting.

I just hope that one day you and your husband can be financially stable enough so that you can have the opportunity to be a SAHM like you desire.  I wish you the best of luck.

Remember too that just because you have to go back to work (like a majority of mom's do) does not mean that you love your child any less.  You are still a good mother because you are helping your family the best that you can. 

I'd like to say how lucky you are that you will have "grandpa day-care"!  Going back to work is very hard, you don't want to miss any part of the development.

For me, it did make it easier that my dh is home with my son for the majority of the day.  I was always able to have the piece of mind that he was with daddy, you will have grandpa.

Yet, it is not the same as you being there.  I've done a couple of things that help me still feel connected.

1) When I went back to work, I took started on a Wed. and took the next two Wed. off.  This way, I was only away for 2 days at a time the first few weeks.  That helped ease back into and if you have the ability to schedule your time like that, I highly recommend it.

2) I made his food homemade.  It was difficult to find the time, but I made it a priority so that I could feel like I was taking part in his meals and caring for them even though I could not physcially be there.

3) Once a week, I write him a letter (sometime a week is skipped), on a break at work.  The letter covers my thoughts / feeling, things he had done, stories my dh shares with me about what he has done while I am not there.  Again, it helps me feel connected with him.

There are days where it is hard.  I have been back to work for 19 months now.  I don't have a choice to be a SAHM, that is my dh's role for our situation.  I make the best of it, take pride in knowing that I contribute to my family in different ways.  Make my time with him quality time and not stress about quantity.  For me, it has gotten easier, especially because I find alternative ways to feel connected. 

Also, due to my dh's schedule, my son & I have a lot of one-on-one time Friday evenings & Saturday mornings.  Having that one-on-one time makes a huge difference, we get to do special mommy/son things.

Good luck and keep us posted, reach out to express yourself here.  Having the MommyTalk connection has also made a huge difference for me.

Some of those feelings will ease as she gets older and isn't in that newborn stage anymore. Are you breastfeeding? I had more separation issues when I was breastfeeding, I guess from the hormones. I worked 2 days a week after my daughter was born, going back when she was only 8 weeks old, so I know just how you are feeling. I stayed stressed and exhausted, because my boss was still expecting 40 hours of production out of my new part-time hours. Not to mention that it broke my heart every time I had to leave my daughter at the sitter's.  My husband and I finally sat down with pen and paper six months later and figured out that by the time I was paying the sitter, burning gas (sitter was 10 miles from my home), dry-cleaning work clothes, and eating lunches out, I was getting home with about $75 a week. I do the work-from-home thing now, and also do a late night at the office once a week, which gives my daughter time some bonding time with my husband. Now that my daughter is in the MOMMEEEE superclingy phase, I actually look forward to being at work with other adults for those few hours a week. I know that right now, it's hard to imagine getting frustrated with your sweet, tiny baby, but when she nears the Terrible Twos and she's unloading your kitchen cabinets for the tenth time, slinging peas in the floor, or trying to climb in your lap while you're sitting on the toilet, you may find yourself looking forward to that break from motherhood that going to the office provides. :-))) I think I am a better mom because I do have some time to "do my own thing." I didn't feel that way when she was a newborn, but with time, I have. Maybe you will, too.