I am not having a good month and my kids are not helping the situation. All 3 kids have been sick and it has taken its toll on Mom.  My 6 year old girl has the attitude lately and it is getting on my nerves. She is being a little smart a** and gives me bad attitude on a daily basis.  Her birthday is monday November 19th and I feel like cancelling her birthday. The other day when we were in Walmart walking around waiting for prescriptions to be filled, she informs me that I have to buy her a birthday present and it better be something that she wants. I calmly tell her that is not a nice way to talk to Mommy and that she should be nice or she will not be getting anything. She starts giving me attitude again and saying that I never buy her anything and that it is so unfair.  Today after school when we were driving home she starts talking about what is going to happen at her birthday party with all her friends.......I inform her that she isn't having that kind of party and that it was just going to be dinner with the family. She starts screaming and crying and saying that she NEEDS a party with her friends. I explained that she was not going to get a big party every year and that she had one last year that cost way too much and that this year we couldn't put out that kind of money. I also told her that since we weren't having a big party that we had to spend money on other kids, that her gift and decorations could be more elaborate. I hope this sassiness is just a phase, it is making me insane. 

I don't think that you have to have a BIG birthday party for every birthday, nor one that consists of all of her friends.  We don't usually do that over here.  Not because we don't want our children to feel special, but because it is just not affordable.  I would much rather give them a nice present, bake them a cake, and let them pick out their birthday dinner.

We always try and make the birthday person feel special, but a party doesn't have to be part of that.  Especially when attitude is being given.  I don't blame you for wanting to cancel.  Sometimes our children just don't appreciate how great their lives are.  They should be thankful for what they have, but instead they are always wishing/expecting/demanding more.  I wish you all the best...whatever you decide to do.

When i was younger i did not have a birthday party every year.  I think i had a total of 4 friend birthday parties, and i turned out ok.  My parents could never to afford to have big parties every year, we just had our "special" birthday dinner at home, and then went to my grandparents house with my aunts and uncles and cousins and opened presents. 

I think that if an attitude is being given, she should definatly not be given a big party with "all" of her friends.  Maybe if you dont give her a party, she will realize that there are consequences fo her actions, and if she is gonna have an attitude, things will not go the way she wants them to.

Good luck with your daughter, im sure whatever you decided to do will work out!

Bren if it makes you feel better ... I had two parties as a child one at five and one at thirteen.... after that it was just sort of sleep over night but no real parties... not even cake. just a good dinner and a card or something small from my mom and my dad always just gave me money.

Liv hasnt made it that far yet into her sassiness phase but I will tell you this she wouldnt be getting a darn thing from me if she talked to me that way

I was the meanest teen ever i think.. the christmas i was 15 my mom took all my presents back because i was being an ungreatful lil brat... so i learned my lesson and kept my mouth shut and learned to apperciate what I did have.

It sounds like she needs a good kick in the pants. JUST KIDDING!!! But seriously, it sounds like she might need a BIG dose of reality. She has to understand that things like parties and presents are really an option and are given as a sign of love. If you feel that she hasn't earned the privilege to "hang out" with her friends on her birthday, then revoke that privilege. Notice how I use the word "privilege".

Just know that you will persevere and overcome this! I believe you will make the right choice for your child. When you have her best interests in mind, you can never make the wrong decision. ^_^

I believe that  while I love to celebrate kids bdays and grown ups too, that to give one because its demanded or expected is not healthy for developement of our kids..... I have done surprize parties  ofttimes to give and be the gift , and then there were the lean years too where parties where NOT in equation, cept as small informal cake and icecream  w few little gifts  to make sure each child always knew their birth was important to us.  Some years the girls had 2 or three small parties  just depended on circumstances and attitudes... others grande affairs  w tons of peeps , cook outs and  games , Point is it wont harm your daughter to have a small intimate affair , going low key on decorations, and big on time , sharing home movies and just remebering big moments of her life  together.... and just valuing her as a special addition to your famiy.... and keep gifts small too simply to show her the difference of what love is  and its not a gift, nopr a big party but being together Happy Birthday Baby  girl   and Blessings Bren

i never had any bday parties when i was a kid it was always always bday cake and family dinner and a present or two

First, why i'm not in favor of the mondo party:

1. Costly and stressful

2. Demands reciprocation which is costly and stressful

3. After 4 at the latest, having just a few good friends is more genuine than your whole kindergarten class to jump in a bouncy

Now, why I think the kids present concept is good;

1. Bonding and memories.  It's important to have both.

2. You get to see/do things with family at several event/year (hopefully)

3. It puts the focus on celebration of life and importance of friends and off of keeping up with the jones's for the biggest petting zoo/pony/bouncer and the most plastic crap that you will never play with anyway (as gifts.)

4. You have the family only thing anyway and they get two parties.  yay!

Forgive me if I'm totally off base here because I very well could be. But it sounds like maybe your daughter is having a hard time, too, with the tough month at your house. With all of the craziness going on and the sickness and everything, is she needing a little bit of extra attention? I'm not saying that her behavior is excusable in any way, of course. It's very good that you aren't tolerating that kind of behavior. And I'm also not saying that you should give in and give her everything that she wants and have a big party with all of her friends either, especially if you can't afford it. But maybe if she is having a hard time with things and is feeling a little lost in the shuffle, maybe spending a little bit of one on one time with her would help. Maybe it would help her to feel special on her birthday. I don't think you have to spend any money in order to do that. It could be as simple as spending some personal time with her, or making her "princess" for the day on her birthday and letting her choose certain things, whatever would help her to feel like she is important and loved. Maybe that would help her get through this difficult time. Like I say, I could be totally off base here, but maybe there is something deeper that is bothering her and helping her with that will help her to be easier to deal with.

my little brother was born on my 5th birthday, so i never had the day for just me after that, we had joint small parties, each a couple friend, the rest family,how ever my mom always took me out that day for lunch and made me feel special.that was the best present i could get, knowing that even though i had to share my birthday with my brother, my mom made sure i felt special just by giving me that alone time with her.

it is ok to not throw a big party,who can afford it now a days? take her to lunch that day even it means pulling her out of school, let her have one on one time with you. i know i still remember how good i felt.

I remember the age of six being a sassy one. I didn't care for that age nearly as much as the age of five. That said, you still have to deal with the attitude that comes with being six.  I think you should give the kind of party you feel comfortable with. Your daughter should not make demands, and you should not give in to her demands. Make it clear that you are the adult, and you make the decisions.  I wouldn't skip the party because she'll tell it to her shrink someday....how your ruined  her life by ignoring her birthday. Just have a smaller, more manageable party...maybe family and close friends.