My hubby and i are talking about having baby number 3 and i really do want another one, but i am just so worried about my baby... michi... she will be turning two in june and dh would like to start trying in july... if i get preggers as quickly as i did with michi, i will be pregnant by october and i am a little worried. That would make michi just a little over three when i have the new baby, andi don't know if she will be old enough to understand.  with makenna she was already three when we concieved and she was an active part if my pregnancy... does every one else have this fear or are there bigger ones to worry about???

that my first daughter will have her surgery and i wont be able to stay with her at the hospital

Yes, I definitely have that fear too!  My daughter is about 18 months and we are planning to start trying again at the end of this year (when she's two).  She's always very sweet and nice to babies and loves taking care of them, but if I am holding another baby, I have seen her get upset/jealous and cry because of it.  That's awesome that you were able to include your first daughter in the second pregnancy.  That sounds like a great idea.  Do you think that it could work for a 2 year old too?  Maybe your older daughter could teach the younger one how to be a big sister.

Thanks!!

I am currently pregnant with my 3rd. My oldest just turned 3, my current baby just turned 18 months (they're 18 mos. apart) and if I go full term my baby will be 20 mos. younger. My oldest did understand what was going on to some extent, my current baby has NO clue (or so I think), like Michi she was 4 weeks early and not quite in the same place as her older sister.


While it definitely is an upheaval for a while when they're SO little, my girls ALREADY love each other so much because they have NO inkling of a time without the other one. My oldest was too little to remember her life before her sister. It's even gotten to the point that after the baby has been napping for a long time, my oldest tells me she wants to go get her so the baby can play too. 

I know people think we're nuts to have had our three so close, but so far it has really worked out beautifully. I can't speak for three yet, but the age difference between our first and second has NEVER been a problem...talk to me though when it's time for 3 of them to be in college :-)

I think your heart will tell you what to do. Good luck!

my biggest fear is not being able to handle 2 sometimes 1 seems like to much. we watched our friends 2 year old yesterday while they took the other kids to see spiderman 3, well it was a bunch of no and mine then fighting over toys im afriad if i had 2 then it would be like that all the time and i would go crazy well ok more crazy than i already am.

My Biggest fear was that i wasn't going to be able to handle two kids at one time. I also feared that my son would not be very nice to the new baby. I tried to make everything go smoothly. He actually wasn't to bad with her until she started to move. So from Birth the 6 months he was fine that she was there and didn't care much. But now that she invades his territory he is getting a little rough. But still not as bad as i thought it was going to be. I have seen some kids with there younger siblings. It is not pretty.

My biggest fear is also being able to handle a second child... i sometimes feel like I am barely staying about water, between a part time job, house cleaning, bills, baby, family, marriage... i just can't seem to get it all right sometimes. Although, i know there is now RIght way. I just feel like I'm drowning most days. if i stay afloat in 1 way, the rest of the ship seems to sink. So the house sinks most days. hahahahaha!!!! Anyhow...

As for if your kids are the right age... I have a friend who did what my mom did... sorta... Her son was just over 2 years old when her 2nd was born... he's done just fine... Actually that is sorta wrong... he has adored his sister until recently. he is 3 now and she is 1. Now that she is just over 1 year; she wants everything he has... Now that she wants his toys, etc... he doesn't like her so mcuh...he doesn't want to share. but i think that is at any age. My brother and I are only 1 1/2 years apart and ya know... my mom has so many stories of how excited I was and how helpful i was when he was born. She says I was so excited i couldn't wait to have him come outa her tummy. So... Is there a "right" age... probably not. I think it's about how you teach them to adjust and involve them. i think you will do wonderful no matter what you decide

I had so many fears....we lost 5 babies and we just couldn't make it far enough to save them.  connor was born at 25 weeks and he is healthy and fine perfect.... The 5 iinbetween were horrible...then we started using a fertility doctor I was scared I was going to have a liter of kids.....How could I do all that I am only one person.....They found out why my body was rejecting the babies its a blood disorder that only effects me while I am pregnant it clots my blood the placenta and the cord.....so after being on 2 shots a day the whole pregnancy and found out we were have triplets I was a wreck....How can I do this How can I function...will my kids know me and get bonding time with them.....we lost one baby at 10 weeks and our twins we born 10 weeks early...I had them at 30 weeks.....c -section 4 years ago this weekend I had them on MOTHERS DAY.  I still was very worried if I could handle two of everything.....you adjust your body adjusts and things happen.  All the fear for nothing...it has been pure joy and love and I can't ever imagine not having them both......after that I had ovarian cancer and they took out all my female parts so now I have no choice how many kids i want......sad I know but we talked about adopting....hubby needs more time to talk about that  he has fears....

I was so consumed about how my oldest would feel about the new baby - I felt so guilty and was constantly worried (he was 28 months when my youngest was born) - the minute I laid eyes on my new baby (it was love at first sight) and I knew at that moment that everything would be fine.  It was this rush of emotion that just fell over me - that "moment" is one I will never forget and it still brings tears to my eyes even thinking about it now.  In retrospect, I realize the worrying was unnecessary, but it's our "duties" as moms to feel guilty, right?  I guess you can never really be emotionally prepared, but I can tell you that you will be fine and your older child(ren) will be fine too.