Feature
August, 29 2008
The Perfect TuTu
by Jessica Tatar
Have I mentioned that I'm OCD? Not clinically diagnosed - self diagnosed. I mean, that's what it has to be.... not the 20 million grams of caffiene that I inhale while having my affair with the Starbucks people.
I'm one of those people who start stressing about Christmas shopping in September and one of those people who freak out if my kid's Halloween costumes aren't purchased in July.
Imagine my angst as it is nearing the end of August and said costumes are STILL not purchased. I'm going into panic mode, people!
I've asked my son repeatedly what he wants to be and he has informed me that he will be wearing his Batman cape and mask paired up with his Spiderman PJ's and under it all, wearing his Superman under-roos... all fine and dandy boy. He's 5, so I'm jiggy with it.
Moving onto my little Princess Petunia. She will be 5 months old by Halloween. Thinking in my feminine world, I want my girl to be a girly girl straight from the get-go. With that thinking, I decide to make her one of those cutsie little tutus that I've seen so many little girls wearing.
I go online, research the tutus, discover that they're a breeze to make, and that I can even make them in two colors!!! Oh, joy of joys! I am thrilled with my discovery. I march off to my local fabric store, coupon in one hand, and a cart in the other. I am going to make my little princess be the cutest little witch that has ever said "boo" in her orange and black multi-colored, multi-layered extravaganza of cuteness.
I'm jetting through aisles and hark! I see the tulle! I am so excited, that I think I threw the cart into overdrive and caused the wheels to smoke, in my overzealous attempt in making it to that aisle. My heart is racing and my palms are sweating... and I am.... there!
Just as I am rounding the corner of the aisle (on two wheels, I'm certain), I see a lovely looking little old lady picking up the... what's that.... the... black AND the orange??? No... this can't be happening.... tulle! I stand frozen, breath baited, waiting. I probably look like one of those African safari shows.. "The Hunter on the Prowl" or something.
I bet I stood there for 5 minutes, watching this lady, who had discreetly tucked the bolts of luscious material, under one arm, as she continued to browse through the other colors.
I thought about boldly walking up to her and asking if I could use that material and get what I needed cut, whilst she was still perusing. Instead, I continued to stalk this poor woman...
After she gathered up the rest of the tulle that she was going to purchase, I followed her from aisle to aisle. I even followed her up to the cutting table and yes - my own cart was empty! She layed all of the bolts on the table to be cut, except... wouldn't you know it - the black and the orange. In her nice little old lady tone, she politely told the lady working the cutting counter that she would like to purchase all that was on the bolts of orange and black tulle!
I'm sure my eyes were bulging from their sockets and that vein in my forehead was pulsing and turning purple. I wanted to scream and tell her that I was going to be using those two colors to make Princess Petunia her first Halloween costume. I wanted to offer her a crisp $50 and tell her to beat it.... I wanted to run up to her cart and rip those two bolts out from under her nose.
Instead, I stood there with a stupid smile pasted to my face and watched as this evil woman wheeled her cart full of frothy material straight out those two double doors and out to her trunk.
As I stood there, with my hopes and dreams slinking off in shame, I decided that next year..... I'm gonna have to start costume shopping in June.
